Today’s weird kids’ YouTube channels have nothing on the 1st season of Pokémon

Yesterday, apropos of seemingly nothing, a very small voice deep in the folds of my mind squeaked at me: “Pika-pi,” it reported. “Pika, pika-chu.” Well-conditioned late-’90s child that I am, I was compelled to answer the phone: I had to eat some Pokémon.

It was only soon after I was 8 episodes into the primary series that I realized (no, really, I am not producing this up for dramatic outcome): the subsequent day — nowadays — was the twentieth anniversary of the Pokémon pilot airing in the US That “Pika-pi” has been drilling into my skull for two decades, several years soon after I’d stopped giving a damn about new Pokémon online games (sorry, good friends, 250 is my limit), and now below it was once again, to passive-aggressively remind me of my encroaching mortality.

The question of…

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